A Diary Entry




I know it's been quite a while since I have written my last post and although I've never had many readers, I still would like to start writing on here again. My first year of university is now over already, and I thought I would shortly summarize the whole experience. This is basically just for myself to keep the memories as something like a little 'diary entry' to be able to look back at everything.

So, last year I decided to move from Germany to England to study for one year a foundation in art, media and design. My past 9 months at the Arts University Bournemouth have been absolutely incredible and impossible to describe. I can honestly say that moving has been the best decision of my entire life. Not only have I met the most talented people and nicest friends, but also experienced a big personal progress. I have developed my skills in areas that I had never thought I would enjoy doing before and I have learned that life goes on, no matter what. As much as I miss my 'old self' and my home sometimes, I have never felt as happy as this before in my life. It is a hard step to take and sometimes I thought that I wouldn't make it, but in the end, it was all worth it. Writing this right now makes my eyes actually fill up with tears because I just cannot believe that it is already over. Nine months seem to be a long time but they go so much faster than you actually want them to.

 

The person who has probably given me the most comfort also on days that haven't been that good, is my flatmate, soulmate and best friend. Without him, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to stay sane. He has become the most important person in my life and I can't imagine being without him anymore. I would have never thought that I would meet a person like him, but since I've known him, I believe in fate. And that there is the right person somewhere out there, in places you would never expect to find them.



My family have been incredible since I've left home and I am so glad that I have such amazing supporters, financially and mentally. And yes, I should call more often, I know, but knowing that there are people who love me and miss me every day comforts me constantly. I know there is always a place I can come back to, a place I can call home. Although I have learned that I call people home, not places.

It is actually insane how adaptable we can be when we come to live in a new environment or our resources have changed and especially as a student in the UK it is not always easy to find a nice place to live or to be able to feed yourself well on a low budget. You get used to things that you probably would never have accepted at home and you learn to live on a minimum. But that doesn't mean you don't have the best time of your life, as you learn to accept these situations and actually, you only grow from them - and you value your mum a LOT more.

One thing I would have never expected, is how much I have learned about myself over this past year. I had never though of myself as a particularly self-confident person and I would still never say that I am, but I have learned to value myself a lot more. When you're away from home and your friends for this long and you are busy with uni, it is not surprising that some old friendships might break up, people change, and you learn who your real friends are. Sounds harsh, but it is the truth. If there is someone who you would have thought of as one of the most important people in your life, and they turn out to not even care about you anymore once you're 'gone', you learn not to run after them anymore. That was a lesson I had to learn and it took me a while, but in the end it is always better to end a relationship that just hurts you than trying to hold onto it although you're the only one who is trying. That is a waste of energy you should rather use to focus on yourself and your own happiness. Also, I was surprised which people actually stayed in contact and turned out to be great supporters throughout the whole time. And some relationships never really change, no matter how far the distance between you and the other person is - that is what you can call friendship then.

I am really glad that I went to Bournemouth instead of London first, as my university here was probably the best place to go to after you had left your home and moved to a different country. Also, the lecturers and staff made it easy for me to change from a college (Gymnasium in Germany) to university, as you definitely have to change your way of learning and organising yourself as a student. The foundation year was also a great decision because I obviously had not idea what would expect me at a university and instead of directly starting a degree course, I thought I would try to firstly find out what I wanted to do with my life. Now I am pretty sure I have found my destination and I have decided to do a BA (Hons) degree in Costume Design for Performance. The decision whether to go back to Germany or to stay in England for that wasn't hard, as to be working in the performance and film industry (and the creative industry in general) London is probably the place you want to go to in Europe. So, I applied to University of the Arts London's London College of Fashion and will now be starting my degree this September. I am extremely proud that I got accepted, as it is one of the best places to go to for fashion/costume design and the performing arts worldwide. And living in the capital of the UK has always been my biggest dream. (Guess you can tell from my blog title, lol.) I really hope my skills will be enough, that I will be enough to make it and that the next three years will just be as exciting and incredible as this one has been.
I am incrediblely scared and excited at the same time and it will be hard to leave this place that I can now call home, to move to such a big city. It will be hard to not feel lonely but I hope I will make some new amazing friends and that London won't make it too hard for me to settle in. Because dreaming of something is always completely different than actually doing it. But I have learned that you have to work hard to achieve your goals and that nothing is for free.

Life is hard but if you have a dream, then that is always wirth fighting for. And you will be surprised what you will find along the way.

 


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